Hate is a strong word!
Growing up I believed that love and hate were miles apart from eachother but after kicking the C to the curb, I have learnt they are very much neighbours. I have faced difficult roads which made me hate the world and even more so hate the C for putting me and my family through this. Since my diagnosis I have learnt to love and appreciate so many aspects of my life that I hated before and even whilst I was fighting for my life!
I hate cancer but I thank it for making me stop and listen. My mum used to always say hate is a strong word, and it still is, but i believe you can turn a situation you once hated into a positive.
I hate how you shattered my confidence into a thousand pieces but I am grateful for the experience to see myself in a whole new light.
I hate how you put my life on hold for 7 months but I now appreciate how precious life is.
I hate you for taking away my daughters Naivety but this has helped her grow into the amazing queen she is today.
I hate you for making me weak but now I am stronger than ever.
I hate you for depriving my daughter of her mother for 7 months. I don’t really have a positive for this, how could you!
I hate you for all the times I had my head in the toilet and being so tired I just slept on the bathroom floor, however, my immune system is now better than ever, I’m made of that strong stuff.
I hate you for making me cry but I have learnt that crying is not a sign of weakness, it’s a way of expressing that we care.
I hate you for all the hospital visits but along the way I have had the privilege of meeting some amazing people, whether it was cancer patients or the staff.
I hate how you destroyed my tastebuds but on the bright side I don’t have to taste my own cooking!
I hate that you destroyed by beautiful long locks but I am now thankful I got to experiment with different styles that I would never of had the courage to try before.
I hate how you manipulated my mind and played tricks on me but with the help of all the professionals and my family and friends, instead of viewing everything through a smoked screen, I now see and think more clearly.
I hate how you have influenced decisions I thought I would never in my wildest dreams have to make but I have learnt so much about myself, good and bad!
I hate how my life revolved around you for 7 months and in some ways still to this day but I have gained so much experience about your destructive ways and how to help others along in their journeys to finally saying F you!
Everyone hates you, no actually despises you, I still do but I am grateful for the journey I have been on and what the future brings!