It was never going to be a duel!
I was never one of those children that had pen pals, I wasn't really into writing letters or expressing my thoughts in a diary or putting pen to paper. So when my Macmillan nurse told me to write down how I felt about my diagnosis and what I expected, I just couldn't express it inwardly or even to my family and friends.
Instead I wanted to let cancer know that it picked the wrong women to f**k with!
I had just finished my second round of chemo and my daughter had then started to realise mummy was poorly. My hair was thinning and the effects of chemo had started to weigh of my body physically and mentally. It was then that I put into words what I wanted Cancer to know!
I have often thought about what I would say to you and now I am ready to bring the fight to you! This will not be a duel, I won't even let you begin to draw your weapon!
Yes, you have set the next 5/6 months of my life but I assure you, I will still have control. It seems like you have control, but the presence of you makes me want to fight even more fiercely.
Yes, you will take my hair but before I give you the chance to have this, I will deprive you of the satisfaction of watching it fall from my head, a strand at a time. I will choose the day I rock the baldy look!
I will remain positive, even though you have corrupted my 20's. I choose to still be kind, respect others and love hard.
My soul is not yours for the taking. Yes, physically you look like you are winning but mentally you do not stand a chance.
I no longer fear you. You will test my strength and belief that good things happen to good people but I know in my heart you are simply a test and I will pass you with flying colours.
I will never ever forget the impact you have had on my life and loved ones around me. We will forever be connected but not in the way you think. You have taught me a lot but like many things in this life, we grow out of them and move on. I will survive this and your existence will fade on my heart, body and soul but will remain as a mere memory of the journey that made me into the warrior I am today!"
YOU DO NOT OWN ME!!!